Adventures in Grocery Shopping! 

While scavenging the emptying isles at my local food procurement establishment today, a fellow scavenger commented toward me, “You should really be more considerate and wear a mask.” After simultaneously and nonverbally clarifying I was the intended target of his unrequested editorial comment and that he was judging my lack of KPQRSTU95, < 0.0000003 micron, face mask rather than my level of attractiveness, I responded, “Does my lack of mask make you stay away from me?” Looking a little confused he said, “Well, yes.” “Thank you,” I said. “Now I know my lack of facial virus prophylaxis helps me attain both of my intended goals.” Not waiting for his noise box to annoy me again I added, “It keeps you away from me and it identifies people who don’t know how to mind their own fucking business.” He cocked his head like a confused dog. Seriously. I hate to compare him to a dog because the dog is far superior to that taint stain of a human but there you have it. California is nothing if not a daily adventure in crazy.